Day 219: Listening

I spent the majority of my day today in a small room with seven Afghans while we prepared immunizations for our upcoming police in-processing event. I had an interpreter with me. However, most of the time I just sat and listened. It is sometimes more interesting sitting in a room understanding little to none of the conversation than it is if you understand every word. One nice thing about it is that you don’t have to pretend like you are interested in the conversation. Also, there is no requirement to make small talk. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy being anti-social--at least most of the time. However, it is interesting how much information you can gather just by listening. For example, I could start to figure out the different personalities in the room--the jokers, the serious, the outgoing. Also, I could often tell what the conversation was about...or at least what I thought the conversation was about. That’s the great thing about not understanding what people are saying--you can imagine them saying anything that you want them to.

Now if only I could apply this principle when I get back home. “Honey, please go change Ammon’s diaper” could easily become “Hey, Justin, why don’t you go relax, put your feet up and have a bowl of ice cream!”

Day 215: Merry Christmas

The last time I was away for Christmas it was 1996 and I was on my mission in Argentina. Now twelve years later I am in another part of the world on a different kind of mission. Hopefully this will be my last Christmas away for a long time...hopefully forever.

Today was a rather slow and uneventful day. I think it is normal for days to pass slowly like today did, when you really wish you were somewhere else. I opened a few presents, read a little, worked out, watched part of a movie, and called home to wish my family a Merry Christmas Eve. The snow of last week was melted and rather than a cold and blustery Christmas, we had seventy degree weather. It felt more like spring than winter...although I am not complaining. I’m sure winter will come roaring back within a few days. The dining facility had a nice Christmas dinner and we even had a live band playing in the background. Overall it was a nice and relaxing day. However, I have to admit that I am glad the holiday season is ending and we are moving into 2009...the year I come home!

I hope everyone back home has a very merry Christmas. I miss all of you and am grateful for all the support and encouragement you provide.

Day 214: To My Kids on Christmas Eve

Dear Abbie, Ellie, Eden and Ammon,

Merry Christmas! When mom reads this message to you it will be Christmas Eve. I can only imagine how excited you must be and how much fun you will have today. I hope you have a great and special day. I wish so bad I could be there with you. I miss you guys a lot.

Since I won’t be home this Christmas, I wanted to make sure you had a little note from your daddy. Every kid deserves to hear from their daddy on Christmas. Some kids don’t get to, so I feel blessed that even though I am very far away, I still get to say hi to my favorite people in the whole wide world today. I love you guys...A LOT! I have been given a lot of presents in my life; however, the five best presents I have ever received are my Susie, Abbie, Ellie, Eden and Ammon. Thanks for being the best kids a daddy could ever have.

I especially wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you are willing to ask Santa to give some of your Christmas presents to the boys and girls of Afghanistan. Yesterday, I put a picture on my blog of a little boy who is probably only a year or two older than Abbie. This poor boy was standing outside in the cold with no socks on. Can you imagine going outside in the cold and not having any socks on your feet? I bet your little toes would get cold pretty fast. Every day I see kids who don’t have warm clothes to wear or who don’t have enough to eat. Other kids don’t have any paper to write on or crayons to color with when they go to school. Tomorrow, you will get to open a lot of presents and will get a lot of fun things. I am sure you will have HUGE smiles on your faces in the morning as you sit around the Christmas tree looking at your presents. Try to think of the HUGE smiles that will be on the faces of the kids here in Afghanistan when in a few weeks they open up the presents that you are sending them. I am proud of your decision to share. Sometimes it is hard to share...but in the end it always makes you feel happier and blesses those whom you share with.

A long time ago, on the first Christmas morning, Heavenly Father shared his Son, Jesus Christ with the world. I’m sure it was hard for Heavenly Father to send His Son so far away. However, he did it because He knew that His sacrifice would bless all of His children. This year, our family is being asked to sacrifice--we are being asked to be apart. It isn’t easy. We sometimes feel sad. Sometimes we feel like crying. However, I know that soon we will be back together. Just like our Father in Heaven, we are sacrificing to bless the lives of other people. It is hard, but someday we will look back and be glad we made the sacrifice.

I love you guys. I miss you so much. I wish I could somehow pull you through my computer and give you a big hug and a kiss. Know that I am thinking of you on this Christmas day. I can’t wait until the next one, when we will all be together again.

Love,

Dad

Day 213: Nothing To Say

Sometimes inspiration comes...other times it doesn’t. I was sitting here trying to think of something meaningful to write for this post and after several failed attempts I realized why my page remained blank...I really have nothing to say. So I will say nothing. However, yesterday we went out on a convoy and I took a few interesting pictures I wanted to share. Here you go...enjoy.

Wow, it sure takes a lot of words to say that you have nothing to say.


See the kid in this post. No socks...middle of winter...evidence that Sue's Christmas service project is important.


This year my Christmas sleigh ride is being replaced by Christmas humvee rides.


Doesn't it look like I just landed on Mars or another planet? Interesting scenery.


These women in their burkhas are dangerous due to their limited field of vision and the bad habit they have of stepping out in the street without looking.


A view from the back seat of the humvee as we drive through the city.


This is the Blue Mosque. It is one of the largest and most beautiful mosques in all of Herat.

Day 211: Calling 911

I have only called 911 once in my life. Several years ago when we lived in California, Sue and I drove by a young girl who had just been hit by a car. The poor girl looked as if she had been twisted into a pretzel. As we were one of the first people on the scene, I called 911 to request emergency medical assistance. I was surprised how long it took for 911 to answer my call--at least several minutes passed before anyone even picked up the phone. However, ultimately they answered, the ambulance was sent, and the girl ended up doing fine.

Imagine if you had no access to emergency medical care and that if you called 911 no one ever answered your call. This is the situation the Afghans face every day. Their medical system is broken and people don’t have access to the care they need. The Afghan police in particular have a serious lack of emergency medical providers. The police are often the targets of attacks and are frequently injured or killed. Up until now, the Afghan police out here in the western part of the country have had no trained medics. One of my goals when I arrived was to help create a program to train and certify medics--increasing access to care, providing needed medical support, and most importantly saving lives. Well today, the dream become a reality. The first Afghan Army and Police medic training course outside of Kabul kicked off this morning. Approximately twenty students will spend the next eight weeks learning everything from how to care for a broken leg, to how to dress a gunshot wound, to how to deal with serious chest and abdominal trauma.

In a place where progress is so slow and is measured in inches rather than feet or miles, it was satisfying to see something so important and with so much potential to do the Afghans some good, finally come to pass. It is a first step. Much work still lies ahead. However, today the Afghans are one step closer to having access to the medical care that they need. They are that much closer to being able to one day call 911 and have someone actually come to help them.

Day 209: Icicles

Today on my way to Church I noticed the icicles coming off the roofs of various buildings here on base. Now, as I understand it icicles are supposed to come straight down. The idea behind an icicle is that as the snow melts and the water begins to drip, it refreezes before it can fall to the ground. When this happens over and over again, before you know it you have an icicle. Due to something called gravity, the icicles should be basically pointing down toward the ground, right? Well, apparently no one explained my theory to the icicles I saw today. You will see icicles pointing towards buildings, crooked ones, and even one that is perpendicular to the others near it. Someone explain this to me. I have some theories, but I’m curious about what you think about the subject. All are invited to respond--especially kids and the one physicist in the family. The person with the answer that is closest to mine (caution--this will not necessarily be the right answer--so don’t try to look this up on google or wikipedia) will be sent a special present in the mail...an Afghan snowball.

Day 208: A Day of Sacrifice

The following post is a little gory...however, it is also kind of interesting and informative. Read onward at your own risk.

The Afghans recently celebrated a major holiday called Eid. It is a week long celebration in which personal sacrifice is emphasized. This was a time of heightened security for us as we knew that personal sacrifice could be interpreted by the bad guys as a “good time to turn myself into a suicide bomber”. Luckily the holiday passed peaceful in our region with no major acts of violence.

Today the hospital staff ended the week of celebration by making a sacrifice. Much like in the times of the Bible, in Muslim countries animal sacrifices are still made. Similar to Christianity, the Muslims believe that Abraham was a prophet. He was commanded to take his son into the mountain and offer him up as a sacrifice. However, at the last possible minute an angel appeared and intervened, commanding Abraham not to sacrifice his son but rather a ram that was caught up in a nearby thicket. The major difference between the Muslim and Christian story is that in Christianity we believe this son is Isaac while in Islam they believe the son is Ishmael. In commemoration of this event, and to celebrate the end of the week of sacrifice, the hospital staff sacrificed a sheep. As part of the sacrifice, the meat obtained from the animal is to be given to the poor. In today’s case, the meat was donated to the hospital housekeepers who are not paid very well.

Below are pictures of the event and a few interesting details of the process:


After slitting the throat of the poor sheep, they blow it up like a balloon. This allows them to more easily skin it. Here one of the housekeepers is blowing him up--it was surprising how big he got.


I was surprised at how easily the skin peeled off of the sheep. I think these guys have done this before.


Anyone want an anatomy lesson.

Day 207: Caramel Popcorn Balls

Growing up, my mom had a winter time tradition. When the first snow of the season fell, she would make caramel popcorn balls. This has been a wintertime ritual that as far as I know has never been skipped. Even this year, I received a package from my mom with caramel popcorn balls enclosed after the first snowfall of the year in Utah.

Well, snow finally found its way to Herat yesterday. We have had plenty of cold recently and we have had plenty of rain. However, until yesterday, nothing white made it all of the way down to the dusty valleys of Herat. Last night around 5PM we noticed that the rain had turned to snow. It snowed hard for several hours and then lightly the remainder of the night. By morning we had 4-5 inches on the ground. Not bad for the first storm of the season. It was fun to see snowmen appear on the camp and care had to be taken to avoid the snowballs that were flying through the air throughout the day. It was kind of exciting.

Hopefully my mom will read this, make caramel popcorn balls, and send them to Herat. I hate to have her go through all the work, but after all, tradition is tradition.

Day 205: Little Flirt

I’ve heard rumors that my wife was a bit of a flirt when she was a little girl. Being the youngest of five girls, she undoubtedly had plenty of opportunities to watch her older sisters bring home boys. I can only imagine how she tormented and embarrassed her sisters in ways that only a eight or nine year old girl can. Okay Sue’s sisters, now is the chance for you to share some stories about your baby sister--let’s hope we see something good in the comments section.

Today I went downtown and met with our soon to be appointed Regional Medical Director. It actually was my first encounter with this doctor (he really is a pharmacist but he assures me that doesn’t make a difference). He was accompanied in the office by his youngest daughter who he thought was 8 or 9 years old (remember, Afghans often don’t keep track of birthdays). Anyway, this girl is the youngest of his 14 children. That’s right FOURTEEN kids! That’s a lot even for you readers back home in Utah. I guess it would be important to mention that these 14 children came from two different wives. This is allowed in Islam and is not an uncommon practice, especially among those who have a little more financial security. His first wife has given him nine girls while the second wife five boys.

Anyway, back to this little girl. She was very cute and seemed to be very interested in the strange speaking American soldiers. After about 30 minutes in the doctor’s office, I noticed her sitting next to me. She would steal a glance at me occasionally and give me a little smile. Later on she moved across the room to her father’s desk. At this point she was nearly directly in front of me and she started to become more bold. She started to smile more openly and then started making “eyes” at me. I chuckled when I looked her way again and saw her point to herself and then point at me, all the while with a flirtatious little grin on her face. It is funny how all little kids are the same. I imagine my little Susie, twenty some odd years ago, sitting across from her sister’s boyfriends, doing something similar.


In a country where society still puts women behind burkhas and limits their interactions with others, it was neat to see that their little girls can be just that...little girls.

It made me miss even more my little Susie and the three other little ladies waiting back home for me. By the way Abbie, Ellie and Eden--I better never see you flirting with the boys. You will be in big trouble!

Day 202: Legoland

Southern California is full of fun and worthwhile tourist attractions. My family and I have enjoyed going to Disneyland, Sea World, Knott's Berry Farm, and the San Diego Zoo. All of these places are fun, high-quality attractions that are worth the money you spend on them. However, there are a few Southern California attractions that are tourist traps that I would warn you to avoid. The first one on my list is Legoland. I know it sounds kind of exciting...cities made of legos and fun rides for the kids...how could that not be fun? However, don’t be deceived by tricky marketers who paint a picture of a blissful and enjoyable afternoon with family and friends at their park. When Sue and I went with the kids, we felt ripped off and we even had free tickets. Never pay money to go to Legoland! Trust me it isn’t worth it (okay I know one of you out there reading probably loves Legoland...Sorry).

Well yesterday reminded me of the land of the miniature as I stopped in at the Herat airport. As I wandered around wasting some time I ran into an armored vehicle unlike any I had seen before. Take a look at the picture above. I am taller than this thing--all 5’10” of me. One of the Italians saw me looking at it and offered to open it up and give me a tour on the inside. It was equally small on the inside--I don’t know how you could wear body armor and fit in this thing. Typically all of the armored vehicles around here are big and bulky. This was definitely an exception. One of the interesting things about being in Afghanistan is that we get to interact with many different nationalities and get to see the different vehicles and equipment that they use. This mini Italian up-armored vehicle looked good on the base but I don't know about riding in it “outside the wire.” Maybe we should send it out to California. I think it would fit in well at Legoland.

Day 200: The True Meaning of Christmas

Well can you believe it...we finally have reached day 200 of this deployment!

Just seeing that “200” made for an exciting day. However, what made the day even more exciting was the package I received in the mail. As many of you know, my family is trying to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, by donating school supplies, clothing and other necessities to Afghan children in Herat. Many of you have also shown interest in the project and have started your own collections. Today’s package was sent from Missouri and is the first I have received for the project. The box was full of shoes, socks, mittens, winter hats, etc. It is always fun to receive a package from home. This one, however, was particularly fun to open as I knew the contents would help keep little toes and ears warm this winter season.


I am still trying to figure out who the package came from today. The last name starts with an “M” and it looks like it came from Missouri. I’d like to figure out who sent it, so I can thank them for the contribution. Regardless, thank you for your willingness to share with others this Christmas and reminding us all of the true meaning of the season.

Day 198: PDA

Didn’t you hate in high school those mushy couples who always felt they had to show off their affection for each other in public settings? Even now, it is uncomfortable watching people who are inappropriately “touchy” or “lovey” out in the open. We refer to this as a public display of affection or PDA. It is a noxious evil that we all encounter occasionally as we are out and about in this life.

So I am sorry to say that today I am going to subject all of you to a public display of affection--right here on my blog. I apologize in advance for any who inadvertently stumble along this post and are subjected to excessive mushiness. Please feel free to sign off now...I won’t be offended...okay, you’ve been warned.

For those that want to continue, today I want to talk a little about my Susie back home. So much of my writing in this blog consists of describing my new home in Afghanistan--the culture, the food, my job, situations I face, journeys I undertake, people I meet, etc. These experiences are an important part of the “deployment experience”. However, “deployment” is much more than what I find as I journey through this strange land. “Deployment” is just as much, if not more, what I have left behind back home. Many of the lessons I have learned and many of the ways in which I have grown, have been a result of leaving behind those I love the most.

Today I have been thinking a lot about Sue--my beautiful wife, my eternal companion, my best friend. Nearly nine years ago, I finally mustered the courage to ask out the girl I had had my eye on for a long time. She miraculously said yes to my invitation and even more miraculously, enjoyed my company. That date led to another and then again another. Soon we were engaged and before we new it we were married. From there it has been a whirlwind--cross country moves, babies being born, sleepless nights, seemingly endless studies, the loss of a beloved father, making new friends only to have to say goodbye. Then came May 26, 2008 and a goodbye to last 452 days. There have been ups and downs. There has been intense joy and moments of pain and sorrow. However, through it all, I have had the greatest blessing of my life to help me through the journey. Sue I am so grateful to a loving Father for blessing me with your companionship. You have brought so much good to my life. You have been an example to me. I am amazed by your talents, abilities, endurance, patience, and willingness to sacrifice. Someday we will review our lives and see the eternal consequences of the choices we have made. Then will be confirmed to me the truth that I already know. The truth that the most important and wise decision I ever made was to take that beautiful, brown haired girl I home taught at BYU, to the Bountiful temple to marry for time and all eternity.


Sue I love you. I miss you more than I can even express. I long for that day when I will return to you and the beautiful children you brought into my life and hold you in my arms again. That day will come--believe it or not, it really will come. Until then, know that I am thinking of you, that I am missing you, and am praying for your safety and happiness. I love you!

Day 196: The Clouds Below

It is interesting how differently a cloud can look when viewed from above compared to its appearance from below. Today as I traveled back to Herat from Kabul, I was impressed by the appearance of the clouds. As we flew high in the sky, the clouds below were completely white, bright, beautiful, clean--bringing thoughts of peace, calm, and things celestial to the mind. As we descended into Herat, these same beautiful clouds turned dark and threatening. What only moments before was bright and beautiful, quickly became dark and gloomy.


I have been blessed in my life to spend most of my time high in the sky, enjoying the beautiful white clouds below. Little turbulence has come along the path of my life. I am grateful to a loving Father for this great blessing. However, like everyone else, I have occasionally fallen and faced the storm below. I remember the day, nearly a year ago, when I was told about this deployment. Fifteen long months, separation from my beautiful wife and children, loss of the comforts of home--it definitely seemed more like the darkness and the storm, than the beauty of the clouds above. Tears have been shed, loneliness has been felt, and some hardships endured. However, as I look back on the past 196 days, I realize that this experience has helped me grow, has taught me to appreciate and love my family more, and has given me the opportunity to trust in my Father in Heaven and come to know Him better. I’ve learned that life, like the clouds, often appears dark and stormy. However, on the other side of the storm clouds of life, always lies the brightness and peace that we all desire.

Day 194: Traveling Through Kabul

Over the past few days I have been in downtown Kabul at a base called Camp Eggers. It has been interesting to drive around and see the “big city”. There is a lot of traffic, a lot of pollution, and a lot of people. Below are some pictures of my travels over this past week.


This is a typical Afghan cemetery. You will notice piles of rocks and occasionally a flag sticking out from one of them. A flag present means that the person buried there was a martyr.


Not sure who this is--sure is good looking though. You may notice that in some of these pictures it looks like I am driving in a regular vehicle instead of a humvee. Here in Kabul it sometimes is safer to drive in up-armored SUV's rather than humvees. It definatly is more comfortable--leather seats, CD player, etc.


Downtown Kabul traffic. Pretty crazy. I'm surprised we never got in an accident. You will notice on the left an up-armored bus. This is one of the methods they transport the soldiers around out here.


I spent my first day here at a medic training school. I am starting a similar program out in Herat and I wanted to come see first hand how they are running things. Here the students are practicing transporting injured patients.


Notice the wooden guns--that is the kind of weapon I prefer. It made me homesick for my wooden rubber band gun back home.


Some more downtown traffic. In the distance you will see a monument. This marks the location of Massoud circle--a major traffic hub in the city and the site of several bombings in the past. Notice also that there are actually trees around. Kabul is actually much nicer to look at than other areas I've been. Trees, flowers, interesting architecture...nice change from the normal dust and desolation out west.


There are a lot of yellow taxis here in Kabul adding to the traffic and congestion. Any idea why taxis around that world seem to always be yellow?


This was an interesting looking monument I saw as we were driving out of the city. The world supported by several concrete beams--not sure what it means or why it was built.


As you have seen in previous posts there are lots of bikes on the roads--adding to the danger. These 2 guys had the right idea as they pulled off to the side of the road and walked beside the busy traffic.


I like this picture--the contrast between the colorful objects in the wheelbarrow and the plainness of his surroundings is interesting. As I drive through the city I often wonder the "stories" behind the people I look at. How many watering pots did he sell today? What kind of home does he have to go home to? Will his kids run up to him and give him a big hug when he makes it home? People watching is always an interesting past-time.


I nice looking home with a dome on top.


Driving through Kabul is like driving through Utah--there is a mosque on every corner, much like there is an LDS meetinghouse on every corner in Utah.


Most of these houses blend into the mountain upon which they sit, except for the brightly colored one in the middle. Again, it is interesting to see the bright color contrasting with the normal brownness that is prevalent here.


Kabul, like everywhere in Afghanistan, is surrounded by mountains. People build their homes clear up to the top of them. I imagine once snow covers these mountains that the people will have a hard time driving up and down them. Most people here don't have 4 wheel drive.


As I traveled through a traffic circle, I got a good view of the city and the traffic coming and going. This picture doesn't do justice to the true congestion and traffic in the city but at least it gives you an idea of what it is like.


I tried to imagine my kids driving around on a cart pulled by a donkey and selling carrots. It is amazing how kids live here vs. back home. Luckily a lot more are going to school. However, many still have to work at a young age to help their families get by.


An Afghan version of a shoe store.


Street vendors are everywhere. They sell everything from fruit, vegetables, sunglasses, magazines, tires, etc.

I will be leaving Kabul soon. It has been an interesting adventure. I am grateful that I was able to see a little more of this part of the country and interact with the people here. As you can tell from this very long post, there is a lot to see and a lot going on. See you all soon.

Day 191: Thanks for the Trust

As healthcare providers, we all say things to our patients in an attempt to comfort them as we do something uncomfortable or painful to them. It is often hard to know exactly what to say as you jab them with a sharp object or put something foreign into the body that was never intended to be introduced. Somehow “sorry” doesn’t quite seem to be enough as tears well up in their eyes or a cry of pain escapes their mouth. It is not a fun thing. However often it is a necessary evil.

Well today I was on the receiving end of the pain for once as I visited the dentist. I sat in the dental chair as he repeatedly jabbed me with a needle. With each poke of the needle, he repeated in a nearly inaudible whisper...”thanks for the trust.” Over and over he kept repeating “thanks for the trust.” I know his intentions were good. However, his tone of voice and the way he said it was more creepy than reassuring. I found with each injection I trusted him less and less. It made me ponder what my patients are thinking as I try to comfort them or apologize for the pain I am inflicting.

Anyway, the experience really was not that painful. However, the jury is still out on whether it was worth flying across the country to visit this particular dentist. He was very fast and I am not convinced that it was the highest quality of dental care. Time will tell I guess. It is a good thing my brother in law will have graduated from dental school by the time I make it home. I may need to make an office visit to get things fixed up.

Here is a picture of the hospital where the dental clinic is located. Bagram is the largest American hospital in Afghanistan. It is a large and very modern facility. I somehow felt a little homesick as I walked the halls and remembered the days when I actually practiced medicine. I saw doctors walking around in scrubs and with pagers on. It reminded me of my life before these 452 days began.


Attached are a few other pictures of Bagram...a very large and interesting place. It really is like a small city. The main roadway is packed with cars. There are a lot of soldiers, but interestingly there are an equally large number of civilians. They are all over in civilian clothes--making it seem even more like a little city. Also, there is a Dairy Queen, Orange Julius, Subway, Burger King and Pizza Hut (I was tempted to visit one of them but I decided to stick with the fattening, fried food that was free). They also have a large shopping area--a mini mall which I quickly exited. I will leave the shopping for Sue back home.


Here is the USO. It is named after Pat Tilman who was an NFL player who was killed by friendly fire during the early years of the war.


This picture doesn't quite do it justice but there is often a traffic jam on this road.


Here is my living space for the past few days--a little crowded, a little noisy, and a little dirty.